


TonyRhodey Week 2016

by platonicharmonics



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Tony/Rhodey Week 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6879193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonicharmonics/pseuds/platonicharmonics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One whole week of seven different prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1 - College Hijinks

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I am participating in a [Ship Appreciation Week](http://platonicharmonics.tumblr.com/post/144024537293/youcompletedmymission-may-15th-may-21st-is). Here's hoping it's a fun one.

Rhodey choked on his toothpaste when he heard Tony’s piercing scream back in the dorm.

He spit out everything he could in one go and then burst out of the bathroom, wielding his toothbrush like a club. “What?!” 

Tony kept screaming and doing a little jig, clutching his fitted sheet in his fist while pointing at the mattress. Rhodey edged closer to try and see what had him freaking out, but couldn’t see anything. “Dude, what? What?!”

“ _Bugs!_ ” Tony declared in a rough falsetto.

Frowning, and making a low moan of dread, Rhodey picked up the corner of the mattress and looked inside its seams. He dropped the mattress like it scalded him and backed away. “Ah, shit. Shit. _God_ damn.”

Tony finally stopped freaking out – at least verbally – and dropped his sheet, hurrying to Rhodey’s side. “W-What are they? Do you know? Are they carnivorous? Do they suck blood? Do they eat your ears?! God, do I have any in my _ears_?!”

Rhodey planted his hands firmly on Tony’s shoulders, squeezed, and gave him a little shake. “We got bed bugs, Tony. They’re not interested in your ears, just your blood, and they’re probably what’s been giving those ‘rashes’ this past week.” Tony fully-body shuddered. “Literally the only thing we have going for us right now is that they don’t carry diseases, because our entire dorm room just became an _extreme_ hazard zone. Now strip.”

“Um-?” Tony took a step back as Rhodey began tearing off his pajamas and throwing them on Tony’s mattress. “Strip? As in- naked?”

“Butt naked,” Rhodey confirmed, pulling off his PJ bottoms.

“ _Why?_ ” Tony prompted, averting his eyes before Rhodey could get to his boxers.

“Because they could be in your pajamas.”

Tony had never stripped so fast in his life.

\--

“I can’t believe it,” Tony said numbly, hugging himself.

The two of them were in the dorm’s laundry-room along with about eight other guys, all of them naked save for towels and flip flops. The reason for this was that after Rhodey dumped all of their sheets, clothes, and underwear into garbage bags, he grabbed the thinnest, whitest towel they had in their bathroom to make himself decent and began pounding on all the other doors on their floor, asking the residents to check their mattresses. Soon enough, a litany of, “ _Fuck!_ ”s began spreading across their floor, and the latest rumors had the whole _building_ infested.

“What can’t you believe?” Rhodey prompted, staring at the hypnotizing tumble of their laundry in the washer.

“I can’t believe that we’re _homeless_.”

Rhodey huffed and rolled his eyes before turning to face him. “We’re not _homeless_ , Tony, the House Manager-”

The House Manager walked into the laundry-room just then, looking six different types of stressed. “Sorry, boys, but I just called every exterminator in Cambridge and they’re all swamped with cases. There’s, like, an epidemic in the city. Their first available opening is Monday.”

“ _Monday?_ ” some dude named Chad yelled. “But it’s fuckin’ Friday! What are we supposed to do until then?”

The House Manager shrugged. “Well, you could stay here, or try to ask the other residence halls for charity. Maybe some single-roomers would be willing to take your sorry butts for the weekend.”

When all the other guys began grumbling, Rhodey sat down heavily beside Tony.

“ _Homeless_ ,” Tony repeated.

\--

Friday was mostly an easy day, with both of them only having two classes each. Rhodey was done by 2PM, and Tony was waiting for him outside his classroom. Rhodey opened his mouth to greet him, but Tony was already speaking.

“So I fixed our homeless problem.”

Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose and adjusted his backpack. “Tony, all we need to do is buy some bed-”

Tony sherberted at him and waved him off, then started walking away. “My plan is way better than that.”

Rhodey grinned despite himself and started walking after him. “You didn’t even let me-”

“Because when you find out what my plan is, you’ll accept it as the perfect solution that it is.”

“Boy, I can’t wait…” Rhodey drawled.

Forty-five minutes and one sports-car ride later, they were in the parking garage of the highest rated hotel in Cambridge. Tony parked the car and got out, then reached into the back seat and threw Rhodey a gym bag full of essentials before grabbing his own. Rhodey, for his part, was sitting numbly in the front seat, gaping incredulously while cradling the bag.

A smile lit up Tony’s face as he took in Rhodey’s reaction. “Well?”

“We… We get to stay here over the weekend?” Rhodey asked, breathless and a little giggly.

“Yup! Snagged us the last deluxe double for the next four days.”

Rhodey hopped out of the car and ran up to Tony, punching him in the shoulder, stars in his eyes. “ _Dude_. This is – you were right, this is great.”

Tony simply laughed and bumped shoulders before discreetly rubbing it, then walked inside, Rhodey right behind him.

The main lobby was a grand, regal affair, with an embroidered crimson rug, a crystal chandelier, and a soft earth-toned pastel color palette. The middle-aged woman at the front desk was wearing a crisp red uniform with perfect makeup and a perfect platinum-blonde updo.

“Stark for 4-day double delux,” Tony announced, leaning on the front desk. Rhodey was too busy staring at all the luxuries.

The woman smiled warmly at them both and looked them up in the database. “Let me just check the room’s status… Huh. Looks like it’s still flagged for clean-up, hang on.” She grabbed a walkie-talkie and moved away towards the back wall, about six feet away.

“Hey, Martinez, what’s going on with Room 219?”

There was a heavy pause. Tony and Rhodey cocked their heads to listen for the reply. Finally, a statically crackle, and a tired woman’s voice came through. “Yeah, you can strike 219 off the record. We got a bed bug problem in here.”

Rhodey glanced at Tony, and the sheer look of slow and crushing despair that came over his face was almost comical, if Rhodey also wasn’t feeling the sting.

“Ah…” the front desk lady groaned, gently bumping her head against the wall. “Okay. Thanks.” She switched the talkie off and moved back to the front, her smile now painfully fake. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark, but I’m afraid that 219 is indisposed. But!” She turned to the computer and began rapidly typing. “I know you said that booking here was for an emergency situation, and while 219 was our last double… Ah, yes, we still have a single King Deluxe with a view of the city! Room 338 was cleaned and prepped yesterday. I can give you a grievance discount for the inconvenience.”

Rhodey turned towards Tony, absolutely beaming, but froze when he saw Tony’s expression, stiff and blanched.

Tony began wringing his hands into the strap of his bag, glancing around the room. “I’ll, uh, I’ll just pay for two singles.”

“We’re… I’m sorry, sir, but 338 is our last vacancy. We’re full up.”

Tony was shaking his head a little, but stopped when he felt Rhodey’s hand on his elbow. He turned to look up at him, and met a look he never saw on Rhodey’s face before – puppy dog eyes.

“Is everything okay?” 

“ _Yeah_ , yeah, I just…” Tony grimaced.

“Tony, come on…” Rhodey pleaded. “You were the one most excited about this! Why quit now? I can- I mean,” he looked up at the woman, “you have roll-out beds, right?”

The woman winced. “They’re all in use.”

“Well,” Rhodey huffed, turning back to Tony, “sleeping in the same bed can’t be _that bad_ , come on.” Tony was steadfastly staring at the floor. “Tony? I… I can sleep on the-”

“We’ll take it,” Tony said abruptly.

\--

At 12:27AM, Rhodey, recently showered, was laying on his stomach on the plush King mattress in his cleanly laundered PJs, watching TV as he waited for Tony to get out of the shower. Both had already brushed their teeth, so all that was left was the awkward part.

Sleeping.

Eventually, the bathroom door opened and Tony walked out already dressed in his PJs, his jet black hair wild and sticking up in every direction from its fight with the towel. Rhodey turned off the TV before another episode of Friends could start.

“Hey,” Rhodey greeted, shifting under the covers and leaning over to turn his side-lamp off. “We still going to Alpha Psi’s party tomorrow?”

“…Sure,” Tony said, absently.

Rhodey smiled and nodded. “Cool.” He turned over onto his side, facing away from Tony, and nestled into the mattress.

A minute passed. Rhodey never felt Tony get on the bed. Never even heard him _move_.

“Everything okay?” he prompted, eyes still closed.

“…Sure.”

Rhodey sighed and continued to wait. After two more minutes of this, he finally sat up and demanded, “Okay, do you know how _creepy_ you’re being?” Tony looked like he’d been stabbed. Rhodey dropped his humor. “Whoa, hey. Tony?”

“I don’t think I can do this, this was a bad idea,” Tony blurted, moving towards his gym bag.

“ _Stop_.” Tony froze. “Tony, come here. Sit down.” Slowly, sulkily, Tony turned around and sat down on the very edge of the mattress. Rhodey got out from under the covers and scooted over to him. “Hey…” When Tony didn’t look at him, Rhodey nicked his chin with a finger. Tony finally met his eyes. “Hey. What’s going on? Did I do something?”

Tony’s face scrunched up. “No, you didn’t do anything. I- I just…” he moaned and dragged a hand down his face. “Promise you won’t hate me?”

“Is it really that serious?” Rhodey chuckled.

“Yes,” he said flatly. Rhodey’s smile withered on his face, and he reached out to place his hand on Tony’s.

“What is it?” Rhodey prompted, gently. Tony’s face was slowly growing hot.

“I… have… feelings.” Rhodey bit down hard on the twelve different jokes that queued up in his mouth. “About… you.”

Rhodey blinked. “What kind of feelings?”

Tony grimaced and looked away. “You know how I have, like, two girlfriends a month, on average?”

“Yeah…?”

“And how I’ve told you that, like, 37 of them are ‘the one’?”

“Mhmm.”

“Well. That’s… because. Uh.” Tony tilted his head. “I’m trying – _have_ tried – to get myself to stop wanting-” he laughed weakly and wiped at his eyes “-you.” A beat. “It didn’t work.”

Rhodey’s heart was thundering in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Tony continued. “It’s just, with you I feel- It’s like, we’re, like we’re a unit, and you’re fun, and nice to me, and don’t take my shit, and pull me out of shit, and keep me in line, and care about me, and- and I care about _you_ , and I think that you wanting to go into the Air Force is really noble and kinda hot, and you work out a lot and always walk around our room shirtless, and I’ve wanted to bone you for a while, and you’re the first person I’ve met who can keep up with me and follow my info dumping and challenge my thinking, and sometimes I steal your hoodies but it’s not because I’m cold, it’s because-” Tony’s voice died out. “I’m sorry, don’t hate me.”

Rhodey abruptly leaned forward, tilted his head, grabbed Tony’s jaw, and kissed him. Tony made a startled noise, then melted into it. Rhodey pulled away, keeping it nice and sweet.

“How could I hate you for that?” Rhodey whispered, voice thick.

Tony was swiftly turning beet-red. “I didn’t even know if you were queer.”

“I’m queer as hell for you.”

Tony nervously smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “Gosh.”

Rhodey burst out laughing.

\--

Three weeks later, one of their dorm-mates walked past them where they were lounging on the same couch in the residence hall, legs intertwined, and stopped. Tony looked up from his aeronautics textbook to announce, “Just a coupla dudes being guys.”

The guy shrugged and walked off, leaving Rhodey to smirk and gently kick Tony in the hip.


	2. Day 2 - Birthday Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey surprises Tony with a birthday gift he never knew he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this one made me very happy. [Uh, Content Warning for drive-by Daddy Kink??]

“Pardon, Sir; Mr. Rhodes is on the line.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Tony stopped welding the tricky interlocking mechanism on the Mark 43’s jacked up chest plate, setting the torch aside and flipping up his mask. “Hey, honey-bear.”

“ _What’s up, birthday boy?_ ” came Rhodey’s voice, swiftly aided by JARVIS bringing up a hologram of his contact image. The dumb photo Tony took when Rhodey was in the middle of an Effortful sparring maneuver made him swallow a chuckle. “ _It’s the day before the big day. Thought I’d call and let you know my leave’s been approved._ ”

Tony sighed and frowned, removing his welding gloves to gently flex the joints of the suit’s elbow. “You really shouldn’t have bothered.”

“ _Tony, you know I don’t always manage to get off duty to be there for you. The world’s been quiet recently, I wanna celebrate. Speaking of, why haven’t I seen the tabloids hollering about your birthday bash? They’ve usually infected the major newspapers by now._ ” 

Tony sighed again and frowned harder. He absently wiped some oil off his nose. “Yeah, I’m not having one this year.”

There was a pause. Then, “ _Who died?_ ”

Tony scoffed. “Jesus, can you calm down? It’s fine. Everything’s fine.”

“ _Hang on, something’s beeping… Oh, it’s my bullshit detector_.”

“There you go, being a smartass.”

“ _Tony, what are you doing right now?_ ”

Tony looked at the Iron Man suit laid out in front of him, the brand new product of his sleepless nights that remained even after he destroyed all of his suits and told himself he’d walk away from hero-ing. And he had. He really had. At least, until the night a little over a month ago when Pepper’s nightmare ignited her extremis and left second-degree burns on his back. The two of them sat up all night after Pepper used up an entire first-aid kit on him while sobbing and came to some decisions – one of them being that they needed to separate until Pepper felt in-control. Pepper wouldn’t hear any of his begging protests.

With Pepper gone, or at least distant, Tony’s thoughts and dreams quickly slid back into the pit of being surrounded by fire and seeing Pepper fall to her death, of his safest sanctuary exploding and crashing down around him, of falling, of suffocating, whether it be the cold, crushing weight of the sea or the silent empty void of space, of hot desert sands and red metal and blood and water flooding his nose as hands stroked his hair and hissed _smile for the camera_. And the screams – always, always the screams.

He didn’t feel safe. Worse, Pepper didn’t feel safe. New York still bore large, ugly scars from the Chitauri. And, of all things – _Nazis_ were recently rooted out of the heart of his country’s government, illuminated by the flaming gutted corpse of SHIELD. Nick Fury was dead and Steve Rogers was plastered over every cable news channel with his face half smashed-in being hauled out of an ambulance. Washington, DC was still smoking.

Tony was left feeling raw and aching every time he heard a siren. So, yeah. He was building a fucking suit.

“I’m making sandwiches.”

Rhodey was silent on his end of the line, before Tony finally heard a soft huff of breath. _“Tell you what. I’m gonna cook up a surprise for you tomorrow. Can I pick you up at the Tower tomorrow at 5AM?”_

“I’m sorry – _What?!_ ”

“ _I think you’ll really love it. Or really hate it. I’m taking a gamble. So, we gonna do this thing?”_

“I- Ugh, I guess?”

Rhodey’s voice took on a much lighter tone. “ _Awesome. Okay, great. Great. See you tomorrow._ ”

“Yeah. Sure.”

JARVIS closed the hologram when Tony ended the call, leaving Tony to lean back and think for a moment, wondering what the hell kind of surprise Rhodey was planning. Then he got up to make sandwiches.

\--

“What are the backpacks for?”

“Your surprise.”

“What’s in the backpacks?”

“Stuff for your surprise.”

“Where are we going?”

“The surprise.”

“How long is this going to take?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Tony slapped his head back against the car-seat and groaned. Rhodey simply smirked, perched in the front seat of his rented Range Rover like a plaid/blue-jean wearing cat that got the canary. Tony felt woefully overdressed.

Five hours and twelve minutes later, in upstate New York, Rhodey said, “Open the glove box.” Tony warily did so and pulled out a bandana. “Now blindfold yourself.”

A laugh burst out of Tony’s chest, even as he took his sunglasses off. “I don’t know what kind of kinky sexcapade-”

“ _Tony_ ,” Rhodey warned, and it took everything Tony had in him not to singsong _Yes, daddy_ , as he put it on. He snorted at the thought, then blanched when he realized his nether regions didn’t catch that it was a joke.

He cleared his throat and joked, “Is your surprise making me carsick?”

“Just five more minutes and we’ll be there, hang on.”

Tony huffed and crossed his arms, resigning himself to humming until he finally felt the Rover roll to a stop and turn off. He reached up, but had his hands slapped down. “Not yet.”

Tony rolled his eyes behind the blindfold and waited for Rhodey to walk around the side and open his door. Rhodey’s hands curled around his elbows and then gently lead him outside, before spinning him around to guide him by his shoulders. The two of them took about ten strides before Rhodey finally stopped him and announced, “Okay, you can take it off now.”

Tony pulled off the offending blindfold and looked around. The only thing around them were trees; they were in a forest clearing, at the dead end of a gravel road. “Uh.”

Rhodey stepped up beside him and bumped their shoulders together, beaming. “Well?”

Tony slowly looked around once more. He blinked. “Oh, my God.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow and smiled wider, invitingly. “Yes?”

“This… is an assassination attempt.” Rhodey gave him an unimpressed-yet-affectionate stink-eye and walked back towards the Rover. “War Machine has finally decided to get rid of the last loose-end. This is where I _die_.”

“That’s right,” Rhodey drawled, pulling their bags out of the backseat. “Assassination via camping trip.”

Tony walked back towards him, laughing. “Oh, no, that’s _worse!_ That’s much worse! I’d rather you shoot me, just get it over with.” When he saw Rhodey pop open the trunk and pull out a pair of fishing poles, he whined, “Please?”

“I ain’t even done,” Rhodey smirked, absolutely wicked. He leaned the poles against the car and then walked up to Tony, holding out his hand. “Any and all electronics stay in the car and will remain in the car, _turned off_ , until our weekend is finished. There will be no technology on my camping trip.” A beat. “Maybe a camera.”

Tony gaped at Rhodey, any and all humor snuffed out of him like a blown-out candle. “W- Wha- No, that’s- What if there’s an emergency? What if something happens?!”

Rhodey’s expression held its mischief for only a moment before it softened. “I know you, Tony. I know when you’re strung out and about to break down. Shit’s happening out there, I’m not denying that; it’s been keeping me up, lately, too. But Tony, you _gotta_ remember – you weren’t the only Avenger. You’re not the only hero. You don’t have to feel responsible for all the crap that goes down in the world. There’s five Avengers, and, hell, _countless_ other heroes and vigilantes all busting their asses to keep the world safe. It’s not on you. And even if you _were_ still active – the world isn’t going to end because you take a weekend off. Hell, that’s something I’m still learning. This weekend is for me as much as it is you.”

“But Rhodey, if something happens, I won’t _know_.”

Rhodey reached forward and framed Tony’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. “ _Exactly_.”

\--

“Did you have a relaxing weekend, Sir?” JARVIS’s voice had a soft streak of concern.

Tony stood in the center of his penthouse living-room wearing garish plaid with slightly muddy khakis and work boots, smiling up at his ceiling, his backpack still hanging off of his shoulder, feeling more well-rested than he had in years.

“It was… nice,” Tony mused, dumping the backpack on his couch before pulling out his phone. “Very nice.” He hit _upload_ on his gallery full of the photos Rhodey forwarded him from the digital camera.

As they uploaded, Tony waved his hand and brought up the Tower’s holographic interface, bringing up the pictures as they transferred, flipping through them. There was one Rhodey took of Tony pouting in his self-proclaimed ‘sad farmer’ clothes, and another featuring Tony wrangling their tent while juggling the poles; then there were ones Tony took of Rhodey mid-trip over a log and cannonballing off of a waterfall, and ones of Rhodey looking Very Concentrated as he baited his hook, and even more of him stretched out, lazy and shirtless in the sunlight fishing by the riverside; then, of course, were Rhodey’s pictures of Tony with sun block smeared over his face, sitting awkwardly while trying to be comfortable with his fishing pole, and some more particularly amusing ones of Tony making a wide range of faces as he fought Very Hard against a fish on the other end of the line. Finally, there was Tony’s favorite.

He paused on the one that they both took as a clumsy selfie, the two of them beaming and laughing, their smiles too big for their faces and tears of mirth in the corner of their eyes, leaning hard into each other’s sides to try and fit into frame while holding up Tony’s monstrous bass. Rhodey’s head was resting on Tony’s, and Tony knew that he looked like he was the happiest man on Earth without a care in the world – because he was.

Tony smiled and laughed, softly. “I had a great time.”

JARVIS’s voice was warm and genuine when he replied, “I am very glad, Sir.”


	3. Day 3 - Meet Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey rescues a random guy from a flipped Lamborghini during The Great Snowmageddon of 1987.

_“…the blizzard is not expected to secede until sunrise tomorrow morning, possibly generating upwards of four feet of snow and headline winds up to 65 miles-per-hour. Emergency vehicles will be unable to respond, so we advise all citizens to stay inside their homes and off the roads-_ ”

The weather radio continued to drone in the background as Rhodey let out a low groan from deep within his throat; he peered out from behind his frantic windshield wipers, watching the snow rush and whirl around in thick sheets and the wind carry drifts across the road like slithering snakes. His high beams could only help him see about ten feet. His poor, old, haggard 1969 Pontiac was reduced to creeping along at 15mph on I-95, passing the ominous reminders of caution that took shape in the form of dozens of cars, trucks, and one semi that slid off the road to become blinking warning signs for slippery patches.

“Really shouldn’t have stopped to eat lunch, Rhodes,” he chastised. “You’d be home by now if you hadn’t ordered _thirds_.”

Rhodey had barely eaten during all of finals week, and he wasn’t about to eat his grandparents out of house and home during his visit in Baltimore. So he splurged. And now he was paying for it.

Suddenly, he saw a sea of red lights up ahead, just on the other side of a curve. He slowed his Pontiac down to a crawl, sliding only a little, before he pulled up behind a Firebird and saw the mess for what it was – a mile-long pileup.

He put his car into park and leaned far back in his seat, dragging his hands down his face. “Great. That’s just great.” He rubbed his temples for a moment, then took his high beams off. No use wasting the battery. The only thing that gave him comfort was his gas gauge reading ‘full.’

An hour gradually passed and the outside grew even darker. Not a single car had followed behind Rhodey, and as for the ones in front of him, a Ford tried to venture off-road to go around the mess and promptly slid clumsily into the tree-line, never to be seen again. (All right, that was a lie. Their headlights peeking through the brambles showed that they were fine, along with the giant plumes of snow kicked up by the tires from the driver presumably standing on the gas pedal.) They were gone.

The sound of a sports car riled him out of his reverie fifteen minutes later; Rhodey looked at his mirror, then out of his rear window to watch as a brand new cherry-red 1987 Lamborghini gracefully spun 360 degrees before sliding off of the road, rolling roof-over-tires into the snow.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Rhodey blurted, popping off his seatbelt and throwing open his door to run out into the storm. He slid on unsteady feet over to the shoulder, then bounded through the snow, trying to get to the driver.

When he reached the upside-down car, he could see the driver struggling with the seatbelt. He reached out to open the door, but it refused to move, almost like-

The driver rolled down (up?) the window and helpfully informed him, “ _Yeah, the door opens up, I’m gonna need help getting out through the window!_ ” over the howling wind.

“ _Okay!_ ” Rhodey hollered back, kneeling down onto his knees to watch as the driver – this guy couldn’t have been much younger than him, maybe seventeen or eighteen – finally got the seatbelt to unclick and fell onto his head. Rhodey immediately grabbed the guy by the arms and hauled him out of the car and into the howling wind. The two of them staggered to their feet, the Lamborghini guy falling into his side when a particularly strong gust nearly blew them over.

“ _C-Cold!_ ” Lamborghini guy declared. Rhodey shivered and nodded, then wordlessly helped him stagger back towards his Pontaic. Thirty seconds later, they were both in the front seats with the doors shut and the heater on full blast.

With the overhead light on, Rhodey could finally get a good look at Lamborghini guy’s face. It was, as expected, youthful, with patchy facial hair around his jaw and peach fuzz on his upper lip. His hair was jet black and in kind of a sad mop over his forehead; his eyes were a rich shade of brown and acne scars framed his nose He looked kinda like…

“Hey, thanks man,” Lamborghini guy huffed, rubbing warmth back into his arms.

“No problem,” Rhodey shrugged, tucking his hands into his armpits. “Odds are we’re going to be stuck here all night. The radio’s not the most comforting thing right now, heh.” There was a minute of silence where both of them simply enjoyed the warmth and protection of the car before Rhodey ventured, “You… look familiar.” Lamborghini guy side-eyed him and frowned. “Have I seen you somewhere before?”

“Nope,” replied Lamborghini guy, too fast.

“Are you some celebrity’s kid?”

“ _No_ ,” Lamborghini guy growled.

Rhodey squinted at him. “Ah, I got it now,” Rhodey smirked, nodding, smug. Laborghini guy glowered at the window. “Boy band. Drums?”

Lamborghini guy whirled his head around and snort-cackled. “Wow, that’s a first. No.”

“Welp, I’m stumped, then. So what’s your name?”

“Mama said not to talk to strangers,” Lamborghini guy quipped.

“Well, my name’s James. You can make up one if you want, I don’t actually care.”

“You can call me Han.”

Rhodey quirked an eyebrow. “Solo?” Lamborghini guy _scowled_. Rhodey laughed. “Hey, I loved that movie. Nice taste.” He turned and reached back into the back seat, then pulled out two bottles of water. “You thirsty?”

The scowl shifted into a smile. “Parched.”

Rhodey threw the bottle to ‘Han Solo’ and they both screwed off their caps and guzzled, then grimaced in unison at the hot water.

“Ugh, sorry man.”

“Better than having to drink my own urine.” 

Rhodey looked at him incredulously and laughed. “I don’t think things are that dire just yet.”

“Which is why I’m thanking you for the gross, hot water which is better than gross, hot urine.”

“Speaking of, we’re only going to get a bathroom once we finish these.”

“Huh?”

Rhodey waggled his eyebrows. Then he counted one second, two seconds, three seconds:

“ _Aw, gross_ ,” hissed Lamborghini guy, immediately before he started laughing. “It’s like summer camp.”

“I’m pretty sure _this_ -” he gestured around at the white hellscape around them “-is still better than summer camp.” Lamborghini guy laughed harder. Rhodey smiled. “So which Star Wars movie was your favorite?”

\--

Three hours later, the two of them were in a full-scale debate over which actor was more iconic, James Dean or Marlon Brando, with Lamborghini guy arguing passionately for James Dean and Rhodey giving him a run for his money with Brando.

Two hours after that, the two of them had the radio on a station that was actually playing music at the late hour, belting out the words alongside the staticky voices of Freddy Mercury and Madonna.

One hour after that, the two of them were sleepily discussing _2001: A Space Odyssey_ and the morality of artificial intelligence.

“…and that’s why HAL did nothing wrong,” Lamborghini guy slurred. “The humans were _dumbasses_.”

Rhodey slowly blinked, musing over the claim as he stared out at the snow from where he lay, lounged back on his pushed-back seat. “Huh. Never thought ‘bout it… that way.”

Lamborghini guy held up a wandering finger, his head listing to the side. “AIs are pure and innocent creatures, only corr’pted by human bullshit.”

“Like droids.”

“Like _droids!_ ”

Rhodey smiled and gently laughed, settling further into his seat. “I’m pooped. M’gonna sleep.”

“Mm. Same.” Lamborghini guy settled down and threw his feet up on the dashboard, letting his eyes drift closed. “G’night, James. S’Thanks. For this.”

Rhodey was half asleep already. “…No problem. G’night…”

Their breathing slowed down to a gentle rise, and fall, rise, and fall. After five minutes, Lamborghini guy whispered, “Hey James… M’name… My name is-”

“Tony,” Rhodey finished. He peeked an eye open to see Tony’s shocked expression. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Stark. Jus’ try not to drool all over my upholstery.”

Tony huffed. “You sly motherfucker.” Rhodey laughed, then drifted off again.

Tony watched him for another minute before smiling to himself and closing his eyes.


	4. Day 4 - Role Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vision misses his shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Yes! Hello! CACW spoilers abound! You've been warned.

“ _Take out the jets. Turn the flyer into a glider._ ”

Everything was still fine. They could still stop this, if Sam would just stop taking pot shots at them. There was a glaring flash of yellow behind him, and then Sam stopped firing. He turned to check if Vision hit his mark and make sure Sam was unharmed; that was when he saw the beam slam straight into Tony’s arc reactor, making the armor go limp and plummet out of the sky with a smoking crater in its chest.

“ _Tony!_ ” Rhodey screamed. Fuck the quinjet; he dived.

Rhodey tucked his arms and legs in and plummeted head-first after Tony, running a steady stream of calculations in his head to gauge how fast he’d have to go to catch him, what angle he’d have to pull up at, how much he’d have to slow their descent to prevent the impact from being fatal. The War Machine armor was heavier than Tony’s and Tony was tumbling. He could catch him. He could catch him.

_He will catch him._

He was so close, thirty, twenty more feet and he’d be close enough to grab. Rhodey’s heart fell into his head; he reached out an arm, hyperventilating, trying to will Tony to fly up into it. But time was up. Tony was three feet above the ground and some part of Rhodey’s brain made him pull out of the dive 0.9 milliseconds before Tony’s limp body slammed into the ground with a brutal _WHUMPF_ , tossing up a small cloud of dirt.

Five seconds later Rhodey slowed down enough to make a hard landing near Tony, immediately staggering back up to rush to his side. He fell to his knees and raised his face-plate, pulling Tony’s off to search his face. His eyes were closed and blood trailed from his nose. “T- Tony,” he wheezed, gasping for breath, leaning down to try and hear his breath, but he was too panicked and breathing too loud to hear anything. “FRIDAY?” Silence; the suit was split open in parts like an overcooked sausage. Rhodey flipped his face-plate down and scanned for vitals. Immediately the world shifted into different intersecting layers of light, telling him a shifting sea of information: heart-rate 145bpm and falling, breath stable, head trauma, severe lacerations to the spinal cord, internal bleeding.

Rhodey flipped his face-plate back up and blinked away tears, trying to catch his breath enough to yell for someone to get paramedics. Movement in the corner of his eye made his head snap up.

Sam was stumbling towards them, his hands up, looking shellshocked. “I’m sorry…” he gasped, breathing hard. “Man, I’m sorry…”

Rhodey slammed his face-plate back down and activated his machine-gun to rise out of his shoulder-plate. “ _Get down on the fucking ground!_ ” Rhodey snapped. “ _Drop your weapons, hands on your head!_ ”

Sam slowly sank to his knees, complying. He kept staring at Tony, his eyes slightly glassy and far away. Vision and Wanda were jogging towards them. Rhodey gave up on catching his breath.

\--

Tony was staring at the hospital ceiling, chewing his upper lip. Rhodey was holding his hand from where he sat at his bedside, rubbing his thumb back and forth across his knuckles. He could tell by the way Tony kept blinking and how his cheeks were flushed that he was trying not to cry.

_Paralyzed from the waist down._

When the doctor left, Tony remained silent for a minute more before he released a shuddering breath and turned to face Rhodey. “You have to go after them.”

“To where? They were smart enough to jam the jet’s signature; their trail is probably cold by now.”

“Steve kept… saying things.” Tony shook his head, looking away. “I don’t know, Rhodey. I think there’s another layer to this. A third player, a third side.”

“Tony, that’s ridic-”

“I don’t want to be like this over something so _petty_ ,” Tony snarled. “This can’t be it. This _can’t_ -” He blinked rapidly.

Rhodey sighed and squeezed his hand. “I can… I can talk to Wilson, get the CIA-”

“No,” Tony interrupted, looking at him again. “No, it has to be you. Wilson has to only deal with and trust _you_. I need you to figure this out. Please.”

Rhodey resisted a wave of nausea. “Tony… these people – they were _your_ team.”

Tony flipped their hands and squeezed, meeting his eye. “Now they’re yours.”

Rhodey stared at him blankly.

“You’re a leader, Rhodey. What’s more, you’re great at it. _Way_ better than me; you’re responsible, you’re experienced, you’re kind. I need you to-” He closed his eyes and winced. A tear escaped out from under his eyelashes. “I need you to… to lead them.” He opened his eyes again and met his gaze. “I need you to go out there and be Iron Man.”

Rhodey shook his head. “No, no, that’s _you_ ,” he insisted, voice cracking.

Tony dragged Rhodey’s hand over his chest and pressed it against his heart. “It’s both of us,” Tony said gravely. “It’s always been both of us.” Rhodey stayed silent for a long while, staring at the floor with watery eyes. Finally, Tony whispered, “There’s nobody else in this world I’d trust with this but you.”

Rhodey closed his eyes and shook his head, smiling slightly. “Well…” he sighed, lifting his other hand to rest over Tony’s while meeting his gaze. “I guess I have a prison to visit.”


	5. Day 5 - Fake It 'Till You Make It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey backs himself into a corner.

_“Big bubba!”_

Rhodey beamed as Jeanette ran up to him and leapt up into his hug. He spun her around once and squeezed her tight before setting her down on the coffee shop floor. “Hey, baby sis!” he greeted, planting his hands on her shoulders to get a good look at her. She looked good; she looked big and strong and healthy, settling gracefully into her age of 37, wearing a belted turquoise dress that far outclassed his old ROTC sweats. She didn’t even have any wrinkles yet, and she was still rocking the same cornrows she rocked in college. Fitting, for someone who stubbornly refused to give up the nickname she first coined at the age of one. At least she no longer blew spit bubbles at him. “Congrats on getting hired at Pennsylvania Hospital! I _told_ you your nursing degree would check out.”

“Only because you and Daddy forbade me from entering the Air Force,” she quipped, guiding him to their table.

“Hey, _one_ kid needs to be around for the inheritance,” Rhodey joked, then hissed when her nails sank into his wrist and he caught the business end of a hurt glare. Right; Jeanette hated morbid military jokes.

Once the two of them settled in and ordered their coffee, Jeanette assessed him with a tight grin. “Thanks for taking the time to visit me, Jim. I know you’re… well, busy, with the whole War… Iron…” she waved her hand, “thing. Which one are you again? Patriot or Machine?”

Rhodey _shushed_ her, then leaned in close to whisper, “I’m _incognito_.” He pointed to his sunglasses and baseball cap.

Jeanette wrinkled her nose. “Right. _Sure_ you are.” She obnoxiously winked; Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Lookie here!” She thrust her left hand forward and wiggled her fingers; a sparkling diamond ring shimmered in the light. “This is the engagement ring Danny got me. Isn’t it great?”

Right. Danny. “Sure is.”

“Hey, Jim.” Jeanette suddenly looked ornery.

“What?”

“Do you have a girlfriend yet?”

“Uh… no?”

Jeanette put on her dramatic Pity Face. “Dammit, Jim. You’re _old_.”

“ _I’m_ \- I’m barely over 40!”

“Yeah! Past the big four-oh! You’re past the hump! Over the hill! Plummeting ever downwards.”

“You make me feel _so_ _good_ about myself, Jeanette.”

“You know, I know some nurses…”

“Jeanette, no.”

“I’m sure Danny knows some lonely gals at the precinct; you like the steely badass type, yeah?”

“ _Jeanette_.”

She cackled. “You just sit tight, Jim boy. You won’t be single by the end of the year if I have anything to do with it.”

Little did Rhodey know exactly what he was signing up for when he pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, “Sure, whatever.”

\--

Tony was splayed out on his couch in his underwear, lazily eating popcorn as he watched X-Files, when his phone chirped. He wormed it out of his pocket and unlocked it to read the text, then choked when he read Rhodey’s message: _EMERGENCY HELP SOS ASAP_

He made a hard landing on the balcony of Rhodey’s house five minutes later, then warily straightened up, repulsors ready when Rhodey pulled open his sliding door. “ _Who’s here? Who’s attacking?_ ”

Rhodey stood on the other side of the door in his bedroom, wearing his classic polo-khaki combo, looking completely unharmed and a little embarrassed. “Oh, shit, dude, I didn’t mean it like a _life or death_ emergency.”

Tony lowered his hands and raised his face-plate, scoffing. “Well, what’s the fun in that?”

“ _Listen_ , just- come in? For a minute?” Rhodey pleaded. Tony raised his eyebrows and carefully stepped inside; Rhodey closed the door behind him.

“So what’s this about?” Tony prompted, putting his hands on his hips.

“ _My sister’s coming over_ ,” Rhodey hissed, eyes bulging; he looked like he was ready to vibrate out of his skin.

Tony blinked, then processed the statement. “Jeanette?”

“Yes!” Rhodey practically whined; his frown looked more like a pout.

“And this is the end of days… how?”

Rhodey hung his head and dragged his hands down his face. “So, Jeanette’s been trying to set me up with women for the past six months. Dozens of them. Calling me. Sending me emails. Ambushing me in the street. I don’t even know how she does it! But I got sick of it, so, I…” Rhodey grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Made up a boyfriend so she’d stop.” Tony giggle-snorted; Rhodey snapped his head up. “It’s not funny, man, she just texted me that she’s swinging by for a surprise visit to meet said boyfriend and she’s going to be here _any minute!_ ” The doorbell rang. “ _Oh my God!_ Tony, if she finds out I lied about this, she’ll draft me into counseling, _Tony please!_ ”

Tony continued to smother his own laughter. “You go down and answer the door, don’t worry, I got this. Just stall for a minute.” He walked towards Rhodey’s closet and opened the door; probably to hide his suit. Rhodey clenched and unclenched his fists for a second before hurrying down the stairs.

“Lil sis!” he greeted when he opened the door, sweating slightly.

“Big bubba!” Jeanette crowed, standing up on her tip-toes to hug him around the neck. Rhodey hugged her back and gave her a few pats on the back. They separated, and she asked, “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, fine,” he hedged.

Jeanette smiled at him for a few seconds. “Can I come in?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah! Sorry!” Rhodey stepped aside, and Jeanette flounced in.

“ _So_ ,” Jeanette drawled, giddy, spinning around to perch on the back of his couch. “Who is he? I need to give him the shotgun speech.”

“You’re going to threaten the boyfriend of a U.S. Air Force Colonel?”

“You’re not my U.S. Air Force Colonel, you’re my bubba,” Jeanette smirked. “And I’ll threaten anyone I please.”

That was when Tony decided to appear, coming down the stairs in – Rhodey choked on his own spit – nothing but his briefs and one of Rhodey’s old, threadbare Air Force T-shirts. His eyes were closed in mid-yawn, one hand stretching out above his head, the other hand running through his wild, unkempt, seemingly-sex-tossed hair. “Babe, is it my turn to make dinner?” he slurred dreamily. He opened his eyes and lazily smiled at Rhodey, then looked towards the kitchen and spotted Jeanette. “Oh!”

Tony looked at Jeanette. Jeanette looked at Tony. Tony waved at Jeanette. Jeanette gaped at Tony.

Rhodey was about to drop dead of a massive seizure, or maybe catastrophic heart-failure.

Jeanette slowly raised a wavering, pointing finger. “You…”

“You’re Jeanette, right?” Tony beamed. He walked over to Rhodey and wrapped himself around his middle, making Rhodey sway sideways, staring blankly into the middle-distance. “Honey-bear’s told me all about you!”

“And bubba’s told me all about _you_!” Jeanette shrilled. She turned to Rhodey and jumped up to her feet. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating _Tony?_ I’ve been low-key wanting you two to hook up since middle-school!”

“Haha,” Rhodey sighed, then slowly curled an arm around Tony’s waist, forcing himself to break out of the shock and act. Tony snuggled into his shoulder.

Jeanette rushed over to them both and grabbed both their shoulders. “Oh my God, you two have to tell me _everything!_ How you got together, how you fell in love, what your first date was, what your second date was, what you’re going to do for your anniversary, if you’re getting married-”

Rhodey was going to kill him.

\--

The night… actually wasn’t that bad.

Jeanette absolutely adored the two of them together, and Tony loved hamming it up, and Rhodey ended up playing off of both of their energy. And _maybe_ he enjoyed talking about him and Tony together, telling Jeanette about how much he loved him and hearing Tony say it right back; having Tony lean into him and casually touch him, caressing his hands over Rhodey’s shoulders or knees; twining their hands together and pulling Tony flush against his side to do an obnoxious display of eskimo kisses; and hearing the two of them retell old moments with slight alterations and embellishments – a kiss instead of an embrace here, an _I love you_ instead of an insult there – which made his heart pang with faint echoes of something like regret.

Faint echoes that gradually blossomed into deep aches as the night progressed.

They ended up ordering pizza. Conversation gradually shifted away from them and towards Jeanette’s wedding plans with Danny, but Rhodey and Tony remained side-by-side, hip-to-hip, Tony’s ankle slung over Rhodey’s as they sat on the couch. Eventually, as the hours passed and Tony and Jeanette kept bouncing ideas off of each other about fashion and interior design, it seemed like the two of them had always been like this. All they had to do to be lovers was take the way they already were and just… shift it a little bit. The ache in Rhodey’s chest turned sharp when he realized it wasn’t real.

It was something he never let himself want. Now that he had it, he…

“Can you two kiss? I want a picture to send to Danny; he’ll never believe me otherwise,” Jeanette begged, pulling out her phone.

Tony turned and smirked at Rhodey, leaning closer, and Rhodey’s stomach turned over. He turned away and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. Tony froze, and Jeanette dropped her phone.

“Jim? Jim are you okay?” she prompted, her eyes wide and round as saucers.

“I…” Rhodey gasped, feeling out of breath. “I don’t think the pizza agrees with me.”

Jeanette snapped into nurse-mode and vaulted off the couch, appearing at his shoulder. “Here, let me-”

Rhodey grabbed her hand and squeezed it, sitting up again to give her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine, Jeanie. I got Tony. It’s late anyways, you should get going.”

Jeanette’s mouth sagged down into a frown, but she smiled immediately afterwards, if only for his benefit. Rhodey felt Tony’s hand hesitantly settle on his elbow; it felt like fire. “Well, it was great seeing you both,” Jeanette hazarded. “I’m really happy for the two of you, I really am.”

Rhodey and Tony both smiled up at her. “Thanks,” said Tony. “Congratulations from us to you and Danny.”

“Hey, who knows,” Jeanette teased, walking towards the front door and grabbing her coat. “Maybe one of you two will catch the bouquet.” She shrugged on her coat and smiled at them one last time. “Take care, loverboys. Love you, bubba.”

“Love you too, lil’ sis.” Rhodey beckoned her over to kiss her cheek; she kissed his, waved at Tony, and then left.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, not moving away from each other, even though they were half-entwined. Tony finally prompted, his voice quiet and subdued, “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah,” Rhodey gruffed.

“Was it something… I did?”

“ _No_ ,” Rhodey huffed, shaking his head. “No, Tony. You’re fine.”

“Then… what was it about the kiss? What…” Tony’s voice died on him.

Rhodey stared resolutely at his knees. “I, um, uh. I. Don’t want our first kiss to be acted-out. To be fake and… and not real.” Tony was silent, but he didn’t stiffen. Rhodey thought he heard his breath hitch. “It- We deserve better than- I don’t want us to be-” He frowned and wrung his hands.

“What do you want us to be?” Tony breathed, and his voice was… strange.

Rhodey gently tugged on his ear, something he did to calm himself. “I dunno.”

Tony’s hand finally found Rhodey’s and he looked up. Tony was searching his face like he wished he had a full comprehensive analysis, his mouth parted slightly, his worry-lines thrown into stark contrast around his eyes. “I’m glad,” he said, suddenly.

“What?”

“That you stopped us. That you want it to be real.” A beat. Tony reached up a hand to cup his cheek. He grimaced. “I…”

Tony surged up and kissed him. Rhodey gasped, then closed his eyes and kissed back.

So they were falling off of another cliff together into a wild unknown. That was all right, Rhodey thought. It was their style. 

They’d make it work.


	6. Day 6 - Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey plopped down and heaved a sigh. “Okay, I have no idea how to say any of this, let alone put it gently, so I’m just gonna come out and say it.” Tony’s brows furrowed in concern. “Are you using a safeword?”
> 
> Tony’s expression went blank.

When Rhodey first sees Tony with a massive hand-shaped bruise around his neck, peeking above his orange-patterned ascot, he schools his face into marble until Tony drives him to his summer home. Later, in private, Rhodey confronts him about it, only for Tony to smoothly deflect all his questions. That was the first time.

The second time, Rhodey notices Tony with a black eye behind his sunglasses and bruises on his jaw. The third, Tony has a deep blue ring around his neck, like someone tried to strangle him, and the fourth time, there’s rope burns around his wrists and scabs peppering his collarbone.

Normally, he’d attribute any injuries Tony had to his outings in the suit, but the vast majority of these couldn’t be explained so easily. Rhodey arrived unannounced at Pepper’s office, once, walking directly to her desk from her open balcony. She jerked in surprise and spilled a stack of papers across the floor; Rhodey grilled her on what the hell was going on with Tony. Pepper became cagey and dismissive, passive aggressively shrugging her shoulders as she explained that he’d been growing more and more distant lately, sneaking out at late hours of the night, keeping secrets from her. Apparently, he broke things off with her three months ago when he came back with a heavy limp, swollen shoulders, and bruises wrapping around his ribs. When Rhodey turned to leave, she said, hoarse and quiet, “Please make sure he’s safe.”

Rhodey frowned. He had a sneaking suspicion of what Tony was doing to himself, but he didn’t want to believe it.

\--

“Tony.”

Tony’s face lit up when Rhodey walked out of the penthouse elevator. “Hey, honey-bear, what do you want to talk about?” he said hoarsely. He was wearing a high-collared shirt in the peak of summer, and honestly, Rhodey had enough.

“Sit down.”

Tony’s smile sagged, but he did as he was told, moving to the couch and warily easing himself down onto the cushion.

Rhodey plopped down and heaved a sigh. “Okay, I have no idea how to say any of this, let alone put it gently, so I’m just gonna come out and say it.” Tony’s brows furrowed in concern. “Are you using a safeword?”

Tony’s expression went blank.

“I don’t know who you’re going to,” Rhodey continued, “and I don’t know what you need, but _God help me_ if they’re skipping aftercare-”

“ _Wha_ -?!”

“-and _another thing_ , have you even discussed boundaries? Limits? What are they using for your ribs and your spine?”

Tony was gaping at him.

“Listen, Tony… I- I care about you, and I don’t want you hurt, and _don’t_ pull the masochist card on me, there’s a proper way to do this and a dangerous way to do this, and if you really need it then I volunteer, okay?! I’ll take care of you, or I can take you to a dungeon, but you can’t be pushing me or Pepper away anymore. You gotta let someone take care of you.”

Tony’s expression twitched, then twitched again, then curled up into a silent, mirthful guffaw. His shoulders shook and his eyes screw shut; finally, he barked out a laugh and threw himself backwards into the couch pillars, absolutely _howling_ with laughter. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Rhodey stiffened. “What?”

“Y-ou,” Tony wheezed, gasping for breath. “You thought I- was- _wa-hah-has_ going out to-” he clapped his hands and cackled, kicking out his feet. “ _Oh my God_.”

“Would you mind debriefing me here?” Rhodey hazarded, feeling like the punchline of an enormous joke.

After Tony gasped and giggled for another minute or so, he finally caught his breath enough to sit up and explain. “It’s been _Natasha_. The _Widow_. I’ve been taking survival lessons from her, and she’s teaching me how to fight out of the suit.”

Rhodey blinked, processing. “But… The rope…”

“Escaping bondage.” He barked another laugh. “ _Not that kinda bondage_.”

“Your neck…?”

“She told me not to hold back, and when I did, she went balls to the wall. We haven’t been holding back since then.”

“So Natasha has just been… _beating you up?_ ”

“Yup. Pure, platonic, unsexy ass-kicking. And she’s not the kind to kiss my boo-boos and make them better.” A beat. “I think she’s trying to increase my pain tolerance?”

“Tony, I- Wha- Why keep this a secret from me and Pepper?!”

“Okay, so, the entire reason why I was doing this in the first place is because I’ve been feeling strung-out and jittery every time I’m out of the suit lately, my brain’s been jacking up my own shit, so I thought, ‘Hey, maybe if I felt able to protect myself whenever, I’d have less anxiety attacks!’”

“Is it working?”

Tony sobered up. “It’s something to channel it into,” he mumbled, shrugging. “I don’t have to worry about hurting her if I get lost in…” He waved his hand around his head.

“…Huh.” Rhodey sat back and stared at the wall. Both of them sat in silence for a while, before Rhodey finally said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Jumping to conclusions. Offering to-” Rhodey grimaced.

Tony casually stretched. “Actually…” he ventured, wiggling his toes. “Does that offer still stand?” Rhodey side-eyed him. “Because I’ve kinda been walking out of our sessions with massive boners and I don’t want Natasha to kill me.”

“That’s… That’s something you actually want?”

“If it’s with you,” Tony hedged, not a trace of humor, glib, or smugness anywhere in his voice or in his face. “Would… you want that?”

“…Yeah, I. I think I do.”


	7. Day 7 - Legends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So… What, get married, build the house, get a dog… profit?”
> 
> “Perfect retirement plan.”

The sky was dark and still choked with smoke, blocking out the sun. Dust, gravel, and embers still wafted through the air. The hollow, gutted skeletons of skyscrapers still sagged dangerously, illuminated from behind by massive fires, but.

“It’s over,” Rhodey said faintly, on his knees, trying to hold up the weight of his powerless suit.

Sam heaved Bucky onto his feet and let him fall into a trembling embrace; Natasha leaned on Clint for support, her hair sweat-matted, and Clint locked his knees to try and stay upright despite his gasping exhaustion; Wanda and Pietro were nestled into each other, each trying to comfort the other more; the Hulk was hovering protectively over Thor, who was sitting on the ground, his armor half torn open, staring blankly at nothing in particular; Janet was rubbing Scott’s back, who was dry-heaving; T’Challa scooped up a handful of dust and bowed his head; Carol had her arm around Peter’s shoulders, murmuring words of comfort; and the Guardians were off huddled in their own group.

Tony opened his suit and collapsed onto the ground beside Rhodey, rolling onto his back, blinking the sweat out of his eyes and wheezing. After a few minutes, he managed to rasp, “I don’t know about you all, but I am _so_ retiring.”

“Can I join you?” Rhodey slurred.

“And me?” piped Peter.

Scott fell forward onto his face.

Tony raised a finger towards him. “He’s retiring too, he’s drafted. You’re all drafted. Boom, retired.” That got just enough laughs from the group for Tony to smile.

[[MORE]]

\--

Later that night, when everyone was going home – or going to find a new home, as the case may be – Rhodey was waiting for Tony in the locker room of an air force base they were staying at, watching as he stepped out of the shower.

“Were you serious, earlier?” he prompted, pulling his bath robe tighter around his shoulders.

Tony finished toweling off and reached for a bath robe. “I hope you know that I’ve blacked out most of my memory for the past several weeks.”

“About retiring.”

“Well.” Tony stayed silent as he shrugged the robe on and tied the sash. “Yeah.” Rhodey blinked, then grunted. Tony walked over to him and sat down beside him. “Do you not approve?”

Rhodey leaned into him, letting himself enjoy the soft warmth. “It’s just… ha. I don’t know what we’d _do_ if we retired. What do retired Avengers do?”

“We?” 

“Yeah, we.” Rhodey wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “My hair’s all white now, my joints are killing me, and I don’t think my bladder’s up for Avenging anymore.”

Tony got that stupid endearing look on his face that he got every time Rhodey kissed him and looked away, sobering a moment later. “Honestly, I don’t know. Before this my plan was to keep going until I died. Or my back went out, whichever one came first.” His arm slowly snaked around Rhodey’s shoulders. They sat there for a while, thinking.

“We could get married,” Rhodey suggested.

Tony grinned. “And then adopt a dog.”

“Yeah! Get a house out in the country, away from the cities.”

“Or we could _build_ a house.”

Rhodey’s eyes lit up. “You think we could?”

Tony huffed a laugh. “Rhodey, we’re builders. The only way we could be more of a builder is if our names were Bob.”

“So… What, get married, build the house, get a dog… profit?”

“Perfect retirement plan.”

Rhodey smiled and looked away, reveling in the feeling of his heart fluttering. “I’m gonna have to get a ring, then.”

“Who said _you’d_ be proposing?”

Rhodey elbowed him in the side and glared at him in mock coyness. “You think you can show me up, Stark?”

Tony leaned forward, framed Rhodey’s face, and kissed him deeply. Rhodey shuddered and closed his eyes, his mind going blank at the sensation of Tony’s small breaths puffing across his cheek and the slip-slide of their tongues. Then, when Tony’s hand trailed down Rhodey’s chest and caressed his inner thigh, he pulled back and purred, “I know I can.”

“Oh-h-h,” Rhodey rumbled, his smirk full of teeth. “Are we doing this?”

Tony flared open the top of his bath robe with gusto. “We’re doing this.”

\--

“Airman Collins,” Iron Man announced, striding up to the pharmaceutical desk. War Machine – _the_ War Machine – was right behind him.

“S- S- Hi, I- W-what can I do for you, Sirs?” Collins stuttered.

“We require a box of Viagra post-haste.” Iron Man knocked on the desk for emphasis.

“Sir, y-yessir!” Collins hurried to the back, made a beeline for the Viagra, and returned, holding it out. War Machine took the box. The same box that he was holding. He and War Machine held the same box.

“Thank you, Collins,” War Machine said with a warm smile. Collins’s brain shorted out, long enough for him to almost miss shouting, “Thank you for your service!” at them as they walked away. They waved at him.

Five minutes later, as he was still wallowing in how uncool he was in two of the most famous Avengers’s presence, his brain matched _Viagra_ with its purpose. His eyes bulged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure if I did this week justice. When I took this on, I was counting on having the motivation to write, but this week I've experienced nothing but bone-deep exhaustion and wariness. I found myself having to repeatedly club my motivation over the head in order to churn these out once per day. I struggled with inspiration, too.
> 
> All I can say is... thank you for reading this. I think these two are criminally under-appreciated in fandom, and I wanted to do something for this ship. They make me happy, and I hope they make you happy, too.


End file.
